morning promises

My alarm woke me up this morning to Will Reagan & United Pursuit. I am naturally a morning person, so smiling when I wake up is not unusual for me. My first thought is usually, "I LOVE MORNING!" (Not an exaggeration.) But my first thought this morning was a little different.

One of my favorite promises that God has been fulfilling in my life recently is that He is all I need.

Sometimes I start to look at who's getting married, who's having kids, who's making more money than I am, who's driving a better car than I am, who has family living near to them, etc. And I wonder at God, "Why haven't You blessed me with all of these things?" And I feel discouraged and discontented and a little sad, like maybe there's something wrong with me or that I'm not as "treasured" or "valued" or "deserving" as someone else.

And once I've thought these thoughts, I've taken my eyes off Jesus.

Because here's the thing about Jesus: He gives.

I'm not talking about the Pollyanna "glad game" where you make a list of all the blessings you have been given (which is a very good thing to do).

I am talking about finding everything and all in the One whose love and grace goes deeper and fuller than any person or thing ever could.

He gives us Himself.

There are a lot of things I want, and a lot of things I don't understand why I don't have. But here is where that Will Reagan & United Pursuit song comes in:

I take all those things that tell me I am incomplete, that tell me I am not where I could be or should be, that tell me there's more that I could have, and lay them at Jesus' feet and pray,

If I give it all to You, will You make it all new?

Because He does. He has. He continues to take what I give Him and make it into something I would not have designed for myself. Sometimes that means giving Him something I really want and telling Him that I trust that whatever He gives will be better.

And it is.

Because when He gives you Himself, it is far better assurance that you are treasured and valued than if He were to give you every blessing on earth.

I do not comfort myself in my "losses" but counting all the blessings He has given me. I allow Him to comfort me and show me that there is no loss when I find everything I need in Him.

"The works of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy." - Psalm 11:7

Heavenly Peace

So here I sit on Christmas Eve morning, just me and my peppermint candle and my coffee and a kitten who hasn't recovered yet from stepping in my coffee.

I've been awake for hours, struggling against feeling nervous about tonight's Christmas Eve services, struggling against feeling homesick for my family 500 miles away, struggling against feeling anxious about all the things that will be left undone until after Christmas.

When our worship team went caroling at a nursing home last week, one of the residents requested "Silent Night." My grandpa loved that song. I would sit on the edge of his musty bedspread and listen as he picked out the melody on his guitar. I still smell his room whenever I hear that song.

I love these words:

With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth

There's a song by Sojourn that says that man can praise God more than the angels can. And that redeeming grace is why: Jesus came with redeeming grace, and we've been redeemed. Heavenly hosts sing "Hallelujah," and we, even more than the heavenly hosts, have reason to sing.

I don't know if it's "Silent Night," but I know my grandpa has been singing praises at Jesus' feet for the past 4 years. And I love when we sing on earth just as earnestly as those who are in the very presence of the One who redeemed us.

Praying you will be filled with heavenly peace at the reality of the presence of God through the birth of Jesus. Merry Christmas.

Refining

There is much to be removed,
so much that has grown in the wrong way,
so much that has hardened into permanent architecture.
And some are branches that can be burned,
while others are walls too high and thick for merely fire
but beating,
ripping away,
crumbling structures I grew safe behind.

O, more grace.

And in Your light I see their gnarly shapes,
protruding ugly fingers that grasp to conquer more,
always more,
never satisfied to possess pieces of me
but wanting the whole.
And I plead with You to come in deeper,
before I am consumed by nothing but what I have allowed to consume me,
and rescue me.
O jealous and gentle God,
whose every blow reminds me that You are good,
let emptiness reign but for a little while.
Fill all where You have removed with Yourself.

O, more grace!

I can stand only because I know You are not finished
until I look like You.
May I not beg for it to stop,
the pounding in my ears from being hammered into Your likeness,
but instead cling to the sound of Your assurance
that You are answering me,
saving me,
fighting for me.

O, more grace.

Praise in Pain

To those of you in pain, I've learned something pretty important.

Time does not heal.

Entering another relationship does not heal.

Finding new friends, throwing yourself into work, picking up a new hobby - does not heal.

Perhaps all those things are aids, just as NyQuil doesn't take my cold away, but I hate facing a sick night without the temporary relief it brings.

I am sad and hurting. God, save me and protect me. I will praise God in a song and will honor him by giving thanks. - Psalm 69:29-30 NCV

Praising God in pain does not change the situation, it changes you.

Praising God in pain acknowledges that God is good, God is faithful, God is wise, and God is strong, despite the circumstances.

Praising God in pain professes that you trust Him; it affirms that your hope is in Him and Him alone. And hope in God is the only hope that will never disappoint (Isaiah 49:23).

Praising God in pain reveals a deeper level of gratitude, one that is built on who God is, not on everything that is going right in your life. 

A heart that is grateful is much quicker to heal than a heart that is bitter.

Pure gold put in the fire comes out of it proved pure; genuine faith put through this suffering comes out proved genuine. When Jesus wraps this all up, it’s your faith, not your gold, that God will have on display as evidence of his victory. - 1 Peter 1:6-7 MSG