I couldn't sleep the other night, so I googled Planet Earth in an attempt to find videos of Birds of Paradise. They're crazy. Then my roommate came in and of course I had to show her the male Bird of Paradise trying to seduce the female Bird of Paradise. It's like the SciFy channel, only real life.
My roommate and I then started talking about whether Satan has access to our dreams. We can change subjects really fast. And this topic led us to discuss, until 2:30 in the morning, the lies that Satan feeds us.
In my old apartment, there were burn marks in the carpet that left melted patches of stiff fibers in random parts of my floor. I distinctly remember kneeling next to one of these burn marks one day after work, crying. My friend, who had been praying for me over the phone, said, "Heather, what I just keep getting is that you're believing lies."
I struggle against believing lies every single day. My mind is a rarely-inactive battleground. Mostly the lies I believe center around the word "enough." I'm not good enough. Smart enough. Creative enough. Strong enough. I don't have enough to offer. Also, things like: They'd be better with someone else. I'll never overcome this. I'm not needed. If only I were like this, I'd be better.
Sometimes it's a lot easier to believe lies than to believe truth. For whatever reason. Maybe because we have a hard time distinguishing between what we feel and what is truth. Or because sometimes the circumstances seem truer than what the truth really is. Or maybe it's just easier to have a pity-party and go outside and eat some worms than to be challenged and grow in spite (or because) of it.
Psalm 37:3 (NCV) uses the phrase "feed on truth." I like to imagine God's truth as our sustenance; the fuel that makes us go, gives us energy, feeds our brains, strengthens our hearts and our muscles.
But you know what? I don't think Satan is ever going to stop feeding us lies. He's never going to get tired and say, "Well, I've told her enough falsehoods for the month of September, so I think I'll take a little break."
A friend in church pointed out yesterday that, in Psalm 23, God prepares a feast for us in the presence of our enemies. Satan may never stop telling us lies, but God will also never stop speaking and being Truth. It's up to us to choose which we feed on.
What lies are you believing? And how can you choose to feed on truth?
I turned 25 last week.
People ask me if I feel older, and I do. Not because I've had a birthday, or because I pay my own bills, or because I fall asleep at 9pm, or because my joints hurt. (Though those are all valid reasons to feel old...er.)
I'm coming to realize that the older I get, the better life gets. The stronger my friendships become. The more I learn about myself. The more I see of the character and qualities and attributes of God.
Maybe, as a kid, you get to have a larger percentage of fun and don't worry about as many things. But you also, as a kid, don't have the capacity to actually acknowledge and be grateful that, at the time, the fun things are outweighing the worrisome things. And fun taken for granted is not long remembered.
On Saturday (my birthday), my friend Katie, over tea, said to me, "In comparing life to measuring cups, you are the smallest measuring cup."
It made me feel young, obviously, because I'm still nesting in four larger measuring cups (if you count thirds...which, let's be accurate here, folks, because baking is a science). But it also made me excited to grow older, because the older you get, the fuller life gets. The more you know. The more you experience. The more you can hold.
My life is pretty full right now, but I'm only the smallest measuring cup. I'm looking forward to growing.
Just as each day brims with beauty, my mouth brims with praise. - Psalm 71:8