directional thoughts

I miss creating. I read somewhere that humans long to create because they are made in the image of God, who is Creator. We create because He created and creates. But then I also read (maybe in the same place?) that we don’t really create anything, because everything has already been created – we just innovate.

Whatever. I miss making stuff.

The doctor at the walk-in clinic told me I should write more. Because obviously in the 5 seconds that he shone a light in my ear he learned a lot about my brain.

“If you find yourself writing all the time, maybe you should consider being a writer,” he said.

I don’t find myself writing all the time, I wanted to say back. I find myself sitting on my porch watching wasps fly into this whole in my wall and wondering how little wasp eyes see the world.

At first I was perturbed at Dr. Burns, whose large glasses and skinny body made him look like a guest star on a Saved By the Bell or Full House episode. You don’t know me, I thought. Stop trying to diagnose me psychologically and just give me something to make the glands in my neck stop mimicking golf balls.

But it’s been two weeks and I can’t stop thinking about his words.

Oh, transitions. Adjusting. Figuring out who you are amidst change, and what about you is foundational regardless of the soil you set your feet on. How much of who you are do you become through discipline, practice, and education, and how much of who you are, you just are?

This will be the prologue to my memoir. I’m currently accepting title suggestions.


why God gives good things

I have not been able to stop listening to, singing, and thinking about this song since I first heard it four weeks ago. It was at the end of a season I never thought would end - which is silly, I guess, because seasons always end and I should know that by now.

I am still trying to figure out what comes next, but yesterday God let me in on a little secret that has kind of ravished the way I think about His plans for me. Because here's what the song says:

All Your plans are for Your glory
Yes, we can know You are good

If all His plans were for our glory, they'd be contingent on our performance, behavior, and worthiness.

But GUESS WHAT: His plans are for His glory, and He is always worthy, so His plans will always be good.

He plans things for the good of His name, to bring glory to Himself.

HEY. (This is me trying to figure out how to tell you how revolutionary this news is.) God will never plan evil or bad things for you, because He will never be untrue to who He is, and He will never bring evil or bad to Himself. He is pure. He is good. He is holy. And WE get the promise of good things because HE is good.

Am I talking in circles?

God is good. It is who He is. And it is more comforting to me to know that He will always plan good things for me because He wants to bring glory to His name, than if I were to believe that He plans good things for me because I deserve them. Because I don't deserve them. And I would much rather trust in a God who is worthy of glory than in my own feeble efforts to do good things.

I hope it brings comfort to you, too.
Our purpose is to bring glory to God. So if He's taking you from here to there, it must be because you will bring Him more glory there than you will here. - my friend Katie