I miss creating. I
read somewhere that humans long to create because they are made in the
image of God, who is Creator. We create because He created and creates. But
then I also read (maybe in the same place?) that we don’t really create
anything, because everything has already been created – we just innovate.
Whatever. I miss
making stuff.
The doctor at the
walk-in clinic told me I should write more. Because obviously in the 5 seconds
that he shone a light in my ear he learned a lot about my brain.
“If you find yourself
writing all the time, maybe you should consider being a writer,” he said.
I don’t find myself
writing all the time, I wanted to say back. I find myself sitting on my porch
watching wasps fly into this whole in my wall and wondering how little wasp
eyes see the world.
At first I was
perturbed at Dr. Burns, whose large glasses and skinny body made him look like
a guest star on a Saved By the Bell
or Full House episode. You don’t know
me, I thought. Stop trying to diagnose me psychologically and just give me
something to make the glands in my neck stop mimicking golf balls.
But it’s
been two weeks and I can’t stop thinking about his words.
Oh, transitions.
Adjusting. Figuring out who you are amidst change, and what about you is
foundational regardless of the soil you set your feet on. How much of who you
are do you become through discipline, practice, and education, and how much of who
you are, you just are?
This will be the
prologue to my memoir. I’m currently accepting title suggestions.
