directional thoughts

I miss creating. I read somewhere that humans long to create because they are made in the image of God, who is Creator. We create because He created and creates. But then I also read (maybe in the same place?) that we don’t really create anything, because everything has already been created – we just innovate.

Whatever. I miss making stuff.

The doctor at the walk-in clinic told me I should write more. Because obviously in the 5 seconds that he shone a light in my ear he learned a lot about my brain.

“If you find yourself writing all the time, maybe you should consider being a writer,” he said.

I don’t find myself writing all the time, I wanted to say back. I find myself sitting on my porch watching wasps fly into this whole in my wall and wondering how little wasp eyes see the world.

At first I was perturbed at Dr. Burns, whose large glasses and skinny body made him look like a guest star on a Saved By the Bell or Full House episode. You don’t know me, I thought. Stop trying to diagnose me psychologically and just give me something to make the glands in my neck stop mimicking golf balls.

But it’s been two weeks and I can’t stop thinking about his words.

Oh, transitions. Adjusting. Figuring out who you are amidst change, and what about you is foundational regardless of the soil you set your feet on. How much of who you are do you become through discipline, practice, and education, and how much of who you are, you just are?

This will be the prologue to my memoir. I’m currently accepting title suggestions.